tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237348067209954574.post4830038903476228431..comments2023-09-29T01:24:14.984-07:00Comments on india to appleton: Adoption ethics in the media recentlyPeter and Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10329947206142706470noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237348067209954574.post-53386103972004869302013-05-14T16:05:58.868-07:002013-05-14T16:05:58.868-07:00Encouraging to see this post and the new thinking ...Encouraging to see this post and the new thinking on transantional adoption beginning to gain traction. You'll find me at http://eagoodlife.wordpress.com where I have quoted you in my latest post on the ethics of adoption.Keep up the good work!Vonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17421069895155350144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237348067209954574.post-68110515199569908462013-05-12T10:15:42.695-07:002013-05-12T10:15:42.695-07:00Great post, Nancy! We are not Christian, but have ...Great post, Nancy! We are not Christian, but have crossed paths with several Christian families of the "saving" mentality, and it really infuriates me. I know these folks aren't representative of all the Christians we know, but they do seem to be a disproportional group in the adoption community for some reason. While we were attending our adoption education classes, we ran across people who were trying to create "mega-families" and had specific goals to convert their children to Christianity in order to save them. Religious conversion should not play a role in adoption, in my opinion...the only goal should be to form a family. I will certainly teach our future daughter about our spiritual beliefs, but ultimately, what she chooses to believe is up to her. Do I hope it will be similar to my beliefs? Of course! But I won't love her any less if that's not what happens...in fact, I would be so proud to have raised a child who can thoughtfully form their own ideas about spirituality, and I would have great respect for that. What you said about "dehumanizing" the children by making them into conquests is so true, and it makes me sad that these families get through the system. Thanks for sharing this and helping inform others. Your actions show the true and beautiful spirit of your beliefs!Kristihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09589508799834798394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237348067209954574.post-8200488432324910182013-05-09T09:18:54.912-07:002013-05-09T09:18:54.912-07:00Thank you so much for this post. I have to admit,...Thank you so much for this post. I have to admit, I have found myself generalizing about the Christians and adoption. In fact I just read about the "orphan care movement" and the Summit 9 Conference here: http://www.creatingafamily.org/blog/adoption-domestic/biggest-challenges-facing-evangelical-orphanadoption-movement (note, I am Heather and I did comment on the Creating a Family post, but I'm not the Heather who commented about Hana Williams, whose story I don't know anything about). The fact that it's even being called a movement makes me a little queasy.<br /><br />I agree we need more perspectives such as yours.<br /><br />And I love what you commenter said about the saving mindset. I agree wholeheartedly as I commented on Creating a Family that raising a child to believe they were saved robs them of dignity and negatively impacts their self-esteem.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09247274938469798605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237348067209954574.post-62623582001216311402013-04-18T13:31:17.889-07:002013-04-18T13:31:17.889-07:00Thanks for weighing in here, Miche and Renae! I r...Thanks for weighing in here, Miche and Renae! I really appreciate your passion for children, and wanting the best for them in the adoption process.<br />~NancyPeter and Nancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10329947206142706470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237348067209954574.post-64944581164821022982013-04-18T07:12:22.819-07:002013-04-18T07:12:22.819-07:00So wonderfully said. I had never heard of those gr...So wonderfully said. I had never heard of those groups you mentioned but I'll look them up so I can respond if others ask. It is funny, but I did start this journey as a "save a child" mindset, but as years of learning and education and finally getting to the point of doing the dossier and teaming with an agency, we have learned so much and made sacrifices that no longer seem like sacrifices at all to bring our daughter home-learning everything we have so far has been such a blessing and such an eye opening experience on children, life, and families-and the world. Adoption has blessed us greatly and we haven't even finished yet. And I am so sad about the uneithical parts-that is what pushed us to know the country and agency we chose was the right one for us-we knew everything was being done with the best interests of the children and with the mindset of finding families to fit the children's needs, and not the other way around. I love our agency. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I love hearing what experienced adoptive parents have to say :) Michehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09943079762244070030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237348067209954574.post-39790236646286092942013-04-17T11:18:37.410-07:002013-04-17T11:18:37.410-07:00Amazing post Nancy! I need to go back and study t...Amazing post Nancy! I need to go back and study these articles - I hadn't read any of them. There is sooo much here to digest - but I agree with you whole-heartedly. I too don't like the PAPs with the mind-set of "saving a child" - when I really think so much of adoption ends up being God's way of "saving us" - saving us from our self - our selfishness, our sin, our busyness, our lack of focus on God - raising kids REQUIRES the focus back on God, no doubt... challenges with these kiddos with special issues can only be faced with God - and we end of changing ourself in the process. First and foremost a mindset of "saving" doesn't dignify the child... and they deserve human dignity. We have to think beyond just adopting kiddos - because reality is -- there are too many kids to adopt and too few families willing.... and God knows all this ... he loves the orphan and even He doesn't just make it so to get every last child in a family - so we have to wonder - is there not a larger picture here globally on how we should "care" for the orphan? I do think that some of the good Christian conferences we attended in our training did address the idea of "not saving kiddos" and also the broader view of orphan care - beyond just adoption. You gave us a bunch to think about - thanks for your boldness :) Some of the ethical stuff... I can't imagine ever being a part of that -- that just pains my heart to think a family will "loan" their child because of food to find their child is now adopted elsewhere. This practice - along with one-sided reporting is the kind of thing that makes countries want to close down - and I don't blame them. Lord Jesus, come!Brad and Renaehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06731095690133052906noreply@blogger.com