Saturday, April 5, 2014

Spring break

The past week has been spring break for our three oldest kids.  They loved having the week off, even though we didn't do any "big" things.  They each had playdates with friends (though my big boys call it "hanging out" now!), and we saw grandparents, played board games, and went to the park on one of the two warm-enough days.  We also had some family friends over for a visit, which is still newer for Kavya.  Aaron, Nathan and Anya have been SO patient and understanding about having some restrictions on our activity level because of Kavya.

It is really hard to get a good photo of all four
kids for our post-placement reports!!

The other visitor we had this week was our social worker!  We had our second post-placement visit, which went well.  Mary has been such a blessing throughout both of our adoptions -- she is so down to earth, has a great sense of humor, and always puts us at ease (especially during the first visits, when we were very nervous).  She is an adoptive parent herself, and has worked with so many families that she usually has a whole list of possible answers for any questions or issues we might bring up.

And in yesterday's mail, we found another welcome step in the post-placement world: Kavya's Certificate of Citizenship!  Her little photo that we had taken in Delhi was affixed to it, and her expression looked so different than the animated ones we see every day now.  Her gaze is glazed over and dull, and she just looked like too many new things had been thrown at her in too short a time -- which is exactly what had happened, poor thing.  I looked at that little picture, and thought of the phrase "shell shock." 

Sometimes I can barely make sense of the enormity of what happens in adoption.  We ask so much of these little ones when we take them from their familiar worlds.  In the long-term, of course, they gain parents, siblings, an education, and everything that comes with being ensconced in a family.  But the losses of language, culture, first family, familiar scents and sounds and faces . . . those first days and weeks are so hard on them.  Seeing her picture on the Certificate of  Citizenship makes my heart ache for her, and reinforces the idea that adoption is always "plan B."  Even though it can be a redemptive, amazing thing, there's no denying the pain that is always part of adoption.

And I can't believe how resilient Kavya is.  She is a child who owns every room she enters.  With her vibrant, exuberant personality wrapped in such a tiny body, she will be a force to be reckoned with!  The idea that God entrusted her to us takes my breath away, and I hope we do her justice.  I think of her birth parents, and I pray that if we ever have the chance to communicate with them, they will be pleased with the way we are raising Kavya.