Friday, September 17, 2010

Fun times with Anya Rashi

Notice that she's stuck a playing card and a big flat magnet into the heating/AC vent. Everyone needs a hobby, right?

She's showing you her popcorn, before it's chewed, mercifully!
With the boys back in school during the days, I've had a few fun weeks of girl time with Anya Rashi. I think ages 3-5 are one of the "sweet spots" of parenting. Anya Rashi is so much fun right now, with many original ideas about how the world works.
She asked me to e-mail Peter at work and tell him that "we love him so much that we are going to croak."

Earlier in the week, she was talking about her baby sister, as she often does. In past conversations, she's asserted that her baby sister "will have black hair like me, and brown skin like me." Things took a turn this week, when she piped up from her carseat, "Mom? I hope my baby sister has white hair, or green hair. Or . . . maybe . . . hair like yours." It's nice to have my plain old brown hair lumped in with such exotic choices. :o)

Tonight at our nephew's soccer game, Aunt Mary gave Anya Rashi a sucker, and was joking with her about not sticking it in her nose because it might get stuck there. Then the conversation went like this:
Aunt Mary: So we don't stick suckers in our noses, right?
Anya Rashi: Nope! Only fingers!

Amidst all the fun, I'm seeking advice from other mamas:
With school starting and our days less interrupted, I've been trying to close the deal on toilet training. You'd think I'd be a pro by now, since I've successfully trained two already . . . but you'd be wrong. Anya Rashi has a will of iron about going #2. Training for potty was a breeze, but she has some kind of major fear about going #2 where she's supposed to.

Compounding the problem is the necessity of running around with two older children (that's why I waited until our days would be free to focus on #2). Often, I have had to use Pull-Ups because we don't have the ability to do underwear clean up at, say, a baseball diamond or piano lesson. I detest Pull-Ups (and considered titling this post "Why Pull-Ups are of the Devil," but thought that was a little too dramatic!) because they prolong the training.

But I've been using them here and there -- until this week. We've been all undies, all the time . . . with zero success. Argh. This girl is stubborn. I've stolen an idea from another mom, who uses a discipline technique called "The Basic Plan" vs. "The Deluxe Plan." The Basic Plan is love and basic meals, but no other frills or treats (no desserts, trips to the library, wearing a favorite outfit, extra fun things like PlayDough, etc.). The Deluxe Plan includes all the trimmings and special privileges.

We're going to have the Basic Plan on days when she doesn't put #2 in the toilet, and hope that she figures out that life is a lot more interesting with the Deluxe Plan. (Don't know if I'm going to inflict Anya Rashi in underwear on the Sunday school volunteers, though . . . she will either have to stay in church with me, or wear the dreaded Pull-Ups.)

Does anyone out there have experience with a stubborn pooper? Please leave your advice in the comments -- I'm desperate! I'd love to have some ideas to try if a few weeks of the Basic Plan doesn't do the trick. Thanks!


me said...

No advice here.:( My oldest when he felt like it... when we were training would just drop his pants and go outside if he wanted,easiest for him I guess, so he could get back to playing. And Little "A" learned really quick! We did the stay home all week underwear all day thing. Well and little Maiya is still baby! Hoping you get this all knocked out soon,sound like this might be tough!Hang in there though,there has got to be a solution to the problem!! Gidget:)

Dorothee said...

Dear Mama of Anya Rashi,

I have the exact same problem with my third son Eliam right now and I have also successfully potty trained my two older sons (5 and 4 years old). Eliam is 3 years old and we also need Pull-Ups in Kindergarten and if we are going somewhere else.
I tried almost everything but I have up to 3 dirty underpants a day and I am tired of shower him, washing out these underpants etc.

Now I try since 2 days, that not he gets a reward for a succesful #2 on the potty, but his older brothers get one. And they have all fun to show him "I get a bonbon, because of going on the toilet" and now he really want to go also and I hope we have soon a success.

I wish you also success soon and I hope I can report you more soon.

Dorothee from Germany

Dorothee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Athena said...

I'm glad you were able to check out our blog :) I've been wanting to connect with you to see how everything is going with your adoption. I'm so happy to see that I can follow on here :) As you've seen we're still waiting but, hopefully soon :(

Regarding the potty training, our oldest is 3 1/2 & I'm trying to figure it all out, so how about...when you figure out what to do, YOU let ME know, lol! My little guy wants nothing to do with going #2 on the toilet (he's never done it) & it's my own fault that we've not mastered #1 as I NEED to work on consistency!

I'm sure that my little guy will be in Anya Rashi's Sunday school class as they're the same age (we go to early service & this will be our first week back since the week before Labor Day). Hopefully we'll see you there :)

Good luck with #2!

India Trip said...

Oh dear, I have a stubborn pooper as well. I can so relate.

You don't know me but we just adopted our little girl from Chennai in March.

I'm anxious to hear all the advice as well. Right now we are bribing with chocolate (one of her favorite treats). If she poos in the toilet she gets chocolate. So far no chocolate. She was actually potty trained in the orphanage but reverted back when she came to live with us. I guess she likes the royal treatment having me change her all the time. :(

I'm so glad to know I'm not alone in pooping training land.
Debbie (

Alarie and Todd said...

Oh the good ol' potty training..hate it! ;) With my first, Nia, I was surrounded by moms at church that had their kids pottytrained by 18 months. Here I was at 20 months with a super strong-willed girl who refused to drink or eat all day we were "potty training" because she knew she would have to go in the big girl potty (she was 20 months! boy was I in for it!) I ended up dropping the subject until she brought it up again when she was 3. Then she only would do #1. Super frustrating! I feel your pain. But, I came across something online that explained a lot of times with children that don't want to go #2, they have a fear it is part of their an appendage. I carefully explained to my 3 yr. old how it was the trash your body can't use and not part of the actual body being flushed down the toilet. And then for 2 weeks I used milk of magnesium in her milk and that made it easier for her to go. It was a problem that was "rectified" :) in a few weeks. I didn't have the problem with the second and the verdict is still out with the 3rd. Best of luck and I found bits and pieces from a variety of sources helped.

Julie & Patrick said...

We were caught flat footed with Devi figuring out the whole deal before we could ever catch up. That said, she is now having trouble staying dry in the night and cries like crazy if we suggest pull-ups, which we have never used before now. Good Luck.

Might I add here what a beautiful girl she is! I love that in every photo she is moving...a constant smiling and whirling dervish!! Fantastic, I love it :)


Mommy Missionary said...

She's beautiful! I hated potty training every single time. But our third child could stay dry day and night but did #2 in her underwear for almost a year. Yes, I shudder. I thought I was going to go crazy! Maybe I did. I don't remember. But one day she went on there and never had an accident again. So is it patience or just a "whatever you clean it up" attitude. I have no idea. I am just happy that all five on mine are currently trained because I am the worst potty trainer ever.

Emily said...

What a mischievous cutie patootie you have! As a first time, waiting to be Momma, I have no advice to give (though I am reading the comments frantically to try and remember how to do potty training when the time comes.) But I can say, your Anya had me laughing out loud!! Emily

Candice said...

Anya Rashi is such a cutie! I am glad that you are getting some "girl time" with her! Good luck on the poopy training. :) I am going to have to find some time to be consistent with Micah so that we can get out of these diapers.


A Stafford said...

Thanks for your comment on our blog--our kids are the same ages (10,8 and 3) and it seems like we're in similar stages. Anju actually has been much easier to train than my bio kids, which leaves me wondering about the genetic make-up of my husband and I. She had interest at 2 and is now only having accidents every other day I would say. She always goes #2 in the potty- it's the #1 that she misses. I think it was the 6 months of being attached to me 24/7 when she came home and sitting on my lap while I went to the bathroom (groan) that helped---and I do NOT recommend that for the sanity of the mother. :-)

We're from NW MN.


Thanks for dropping by my blog, your adopted daughter looks cute, she is so lucky to have you, hope you try my recipe, if you need assistance, do let me know ya...