Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Costumes & grocery store adoption bonding



Just wanted to share a few photos of our fun weekend. Peter and I dressed as, umm, geezers for a costume wedding reception. Much of our costumes came courtesy of my Mom: I was sporting her fabulous cat-eye sunglasses from the 1960s, along with her hat, gloves, and fur-trimmed coat, while Peter carried my grandpa's cane.

The kids, however, were way cuter! Building off Anya Rashi's wish to be dressed as cheese, Aaron and Nathan agreed to be a mouse and a mousetrap. Nathan even made up a name for his rodent trap: The Mouse-inator 3000!

* * *

This morning brought one of those blessed moments that seem to happen at just the right time along this adoption journey. As Anya Rashi and I were headed toward the check-out at our grocery store, a woman in her late 50s stopped us.

"Excuse me," she said, "but is your daughter adopted from India?" She went on to say that she and her husband have two adult children who were born in Pune! Her son is now the director of aquatics at one of our local YMCAs, and her daughter works for a city Park & Recreation Department. Hoping to gain some wisdom from her, I asked how their experiences had been when their kids were older.

She said her kids have a positive view of being adopted, but ran into a few bumps in the road as they grew up because of other people's perceptions. When her daughter was in elementary school, she came home from school one day and innocently asked her mother "What does n----- mean?" She had never heard the word before, but another child had called her that at school. Her son has been subjected to extensive searches at airports EVERY single time he has flown. He gets profiled as a terrorist every time he sets foot in an airport, and once was pulled out of line for a second search after the first one.

She congratulated us on our upcoming adoption, and said she remembered how hard it was to wait -- she and her husband got the call about their first child during a New Year's Eve party at their house, and her eyes still glowed as she retold the story. She also showed me photos of her gorgeous grown children. It was such a joy to talk with a mom who has raised her kids and navigated some of the difficult parts of having children from another culture.

We said goodbye -- my frozen food was melting, and she was visiting the store with her clients (she works in an assisted living center) -- and both of us walked away feeling blessed, I think.

5 comments:

Julie & Patrick said...

Great costumes! and even better story! Isn't it a wonder that these chance meetings come when we most benefit from them. And I think even more astounding is that without your dear sweet Anya Rashi helping you shop today, you and that other adoptive mom would have simply been two shoppers in a store with nothing more in common than a need for groceries.

Love it. (especially the glasses!)
Julie

Pam said...

Ha! I love it that she was cheese, they were mouse & the trap. Sooo cute! LOL!
I love the story, and even more I love it that God brings those people at just the right moments to inspire us! Hugs as you wait! We are in the same boat my friend...waiting to find out who our next kiddo is....just a little differently. :) I get to see my Andrew again via Ultrasound tomorrow. I pray you get that all elusive face soon too.

theheartofachild said...

Great costumes!!! How to run in to a women who has gone ahead of us in this journey of raising adopted kids. Hadn't thought of profiling issues...interesting.
Blessings,
Jenny

Jennifer M said...

Wow, what a huge blessing to meet an adoptive mother of two grown children who have been there, done that. Our son was born in Ethiopia so I'm preparing my heart for the day he first hears the N word, but I never thought that I might have to deal with the same thing with my India-born daughter-to-be. Makes me sad and frustrated. I'm glad you had such a good experience with this mother.

Cindy said...

I love the costumes!! And meeting that lady? That is all God! You simply needed a connection....wonderful. Sending you love and hugs,
Cindy