A not-so-profound metaphor

The ol' blog has been quiet for a few weeks, in part because the Appleton family has been busy with summer things, and in part because I haven't been able to decide what to write about the latest adoption news out of India.

In July, we heard from our case worker that CARA (the Indian adoption governing body) has released the long-awaited new adoption guidelines. There are many facets to the new guidelines, but the short version is that there will be no referrals in the near future. There is a September 30 deadline for people in all 23 countries that work with India to re-submit our dossiers . . . and then? Who knows . . .

This is very disheartening to us. I have visions of huges stacks of paperwork sitting on desks at CARA, then the entire office shutting down for weeks for Diwali. Not good for the mama morale.

Here's where the not-so-profound metaphor comes in: bowling with a 4-year-old is a lot like this adoption.

We took my parents bowling a few weeks ago to celebrate my Dad's birthday. Anya Rashi hefted her ball, first with help from her brothers, then by herself after a little practice. She carefully placed it on the line, then gave it a push. Ever so slowly, the ball rolled down the alley, inch by agonizing inch. It was so comically slow that Anya Rashi herself would forget that it was still her turn, and go sit down -- completely forgetting to watch and see how many pins fell down!

Meanwhile, the people in the alley next to ours kept bowling. Sometimes Anya Rashi's ball rolled so slowly that the person next to us would throw both of their balls, complete their frame, and move on to the next player all in the time it took for Anya Rashi's ball to meander its way down to the pins!

Of course, since my mind is never far from our adoption, I couldn't help but make a parallel between our very slow bowler and our progress toward our second daughter. My thoughts wandered to a dear couple whom we love who have had TWO babies in the time that's passed since we started this adoption. I'm not kidding! We began the adoption in March 2009, they had one son in October 2009, and now they have another son born in April 2011. (Luckily, little Q and baby L are so beautiful that I cannot feel even a shred of resentment.)

But even while we are frustrated and sad, we are still very aware of how blessed we are to have our Aaron, Nathan and Anya Rashi. We are holding them a little tighter as we long for our beloved fourth child. In the wake of this news, my heart hurts for adoptive friends who are waiting for their first child, often after years of infertility, and I can only imagine how devastating this new uncertainty is for them.

Thanks for continuing to follow and pray for our journey, even though it's taking as long as a certain 4-year-old's bright orange bowling ball.