5 years old, 4 years home!

Anya Rashi's birthday is a little unique -- Peter and I first met her and held her on December 12, but we've always celebrated her Homecoming Day on December 16, which is also her birthday. That is the day we flew home and we were all together for the first time as a family of five, under the same roof.

We celebrated all day long! First, she got to bring a treat to preschool. She chose grape-and-cheese kabobs to balance out her favorite Christmas treat: candy canes. Then, our local Christian radio station has a birthday club -- and she received a gift certificate from them for a free meal at Subway. So lunch was extra special too.

The rest of the afternoon was spent preparing for dinner. We had family over for the meal of Anya Rashi's choice: Chicken Makhani, Jasmine rice, salad and root beer. After asking for birthday cupcakes for birthdays 2, 3 and 4, she changed course and asked for cake pops this year. She's seen them at Starbucks, and on her cribmate Devi's blog . . . so we tried our hand at them, after finding some instructions online. They were a big hit!

Anya Rashi, you hold such a special place in our family and in our hearts! Your grandma always says our family was like a puzzle missing a piece, and you filled it perfectly. Your Daddy and I love watching you with your brothers, watching as you've spread your wings in preschool this year, watching your very animated face as you talk about . . . well, anything!

I always seem to do a "numbers" game on your birthday -- I can't help but calculate the percentage of your life that you've been with us compared to the time you spent in an orphanage. As of yesterday, we've been blessed to have you for 80% of your life! Kind of goofy, I know . . . but I think it each year just the same.

And now, you are also a sign of hope as we wait for your sister: your sparkle, joy, and enthusiasm -- and the miraculous fact of your presence -- brings us much hope through the long wait for our next daughter. Just by being you, by being here, you give us reassurance about God's timing for our second adoption.

We love you, and are so grateful you are our daughter.

The week of Christmas craziness

We're right in the middle of a week-long Christmas crush. I'm an introvert, and too much activity wears on me, so I'm glad the busiest part of our Christmas season is over . . . but I've also really enjoyed the things we chose to do.

Our church's Christmas musical production was last Wednesday through Sunday. Peter is the director, and every year I am amazed at how he pulls a group of people together to put on a show -- acting, singing, lighting, sound, live animals -- that is enjoyed by over 3,500 people. He is one talented man.

Because there is a live nativity included at some point in each year's play, there is a petting zoo before the show. Thankfully, the donkey and camel are not part of the petting options -- just miniature sheep, goats, bunnies, chickens and a tortoise. (Incidentally, the tortoise is just along for the ride and isn't in the show!) It's such a gift to experience it through my kids' eyes -- they absolutely love getting to hold and pet the animals, and then they get to see them in the production. Total wonder and delight!

This year I was sad not to take my usual "date" to the show -- my 93-year-old neighbor, Ann. She is a woman with an amazing life story, and she's been my date for the show every year since we moved here. She was hospitalized Sunday morning with an infection, so for the first time in 8 years we didn't see the musical together. Anya Rashi is fond of her because she gives out Pez candy each time we visit. :o) She's back home now, doing well, thankfully.

Then on Saturday, Aaron and Nathan performed two concerts with our city's boychoir . . .which brought on sobbing fits from Anya Rashi because it's a more formal setting, and she had to wear (gasp!) a dress. After the tears, she gave me the stink-eye and reminded me that she only wears a dress on Christmas Day and Easter.

The boys have a rehearsal tomorrow night because they're singing at services this weekend, along with a few other kids. And also Peter and some choir members are singing at a nursing home tonight.

Through most of this, I am the "hub" of the family "wheel," making sure that everyone gets where they need to be and has food and clean clothes. Until this Monday: then we threw my volunteer work with at-risk young women into the mix -- after putting together 24 gifts, I went with two other volunteers to bring Christmas gifts to some of the women last night. We will deliver another 24 gifts in the next two weeks, but other people are "on duty" those nights.

It made for one crazy week, but I'm glad it was all crammed into the first part of December. From here on out, I am looking forward to some peaceful weeks leading up to Christmas. Any further craziness I experience will involve making cookies, addressing Christmas cards, and wrapping presents . . . I'm looking forward to days of quieter anticipation, all at home, in front of our own Christmas tree. Which sounds just right.

Adoption is hard, but that's okay

During both of our adoption processes, more than one well-meaning person has commented on our adoption by saying, "You're having a baby the easy way!" I know what they mean -- we are bringing a child into our family without morning sickness, stretch marks, or labor.

Sometimes, I've joked right back that my labor will be the 24+ hours of travel, planes and airports with a child who just met me, who may or may not get airsick all over my shirt (I'm lookin' at you, Anya Rashi!). Other times, my patience wears thin, and I want to be brutally honest and tell them exactly how "easy" it is to wait 2 1/2 years, and be no closer to our daughter than when we began.

But we weren't expecting it to be easy, and most days we actually feel some measure of peace about the wait -- because our daughter will be worth it. I recently read words from a mom who said it much better than I ever could:

Adoption should be hard. We are glad it is hard. And no matter how hard, how painful, how steep the cost . . . It doesn't come close to the value of the life of this one precious human being.

-- Susanna (Katie's mom), www.theblessingofverity.com

It occurred to me that her words also reflect the heart of God about each one of us. Christ willingly endured the steepest cost so that I could be adopted into God's family, and He waited patiently, lovingly, for 21 years until I joined His family at last. I'm sure that He even shed tears during that wait, wondering why I was taking so long to come home to Him . . .

Much to my amazement, the God of the universe thinks that you and I are worth it, worth all the pain and waiting, worth the terrible cost of Calvary. And there is rejoicing in heaven whenever one of us joins God's family at last.

My mom always told me that anything worthwhile is usually hard. Adoption is hard. Susanna knows that -- and we know it too. But that's okay, because she is worth it.

November is National Adoption Awareness Month.

Inspiration from the Solomon family

Last week, we received an early "gift" of 2 inches of snow. Usually we get our first snow in the 'teens of November, but it melts right away. Not this time! Anya Rashi and Nathan LOVE snow, so while I shoveled they created a snow jack-o-lantern. I just had to jump in and help make a snow rabbit. Meanwhile, Peter was at a conference in Florida, and kept e-mailing us pictures of palm trees.

In the midst of National Adoption Awareness Month, I wanted to pass along an amazing story. The Solomons adopted their son Daniel from Romania at age 7, after he spent his entire life in a truly terrible orphanage situation. While most families have an easier path to attachment and bonding, they did not. Their story is one of relentless love, perseverance and refusing to give up. It is especially compelling because Daniel talks too -- is it a rare chance to hear from an older adoptee about the sometimes difficult journey to becoming a family.

I feel a need to share their story because I have read so many celebratory adoption posts this month. I love adoption, and I am happy to celebrate it, but I"ve noticed how most of the blog posts have presented only a rosy picture of adoption. I know there are families out there who are really struggling now that their kids are home, and often they feel like failures . . . and they feel so alone. Please pass along this link to anyone you know who is having a difficult adjustment with their child. I would love to help people know that there is always room for hope in seemingly impossible situations, and that other people have had huge struggles too.

The Solomons' portion of the program begins about 9 minutes into the broadcast of This American Life, and lasts 27 minutes. It is so worth listening to. Here's the link:

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/play_full.php?play=317

*I'm having trouble with the link! If you copy it, it should work though.

Treasure

November is National Adoption Awareness Month.

If you're a long-time blog friend, you might remember that I pulled a nightstand off the curb last fall. Someone was finished with it and put it out on trash day. It had obviously been forgotten in an attic or basement for a long time, and had the cobwebs and grime to prove it. Underneath the dust, however, was good solid wood, so into my van it went. While the fall weather was still nice enough, Anya Rashi and I spent part of an afternoon washing, sanding, and priming it.

After a few months deciding what to do with it, inspiration hit. I gathered supplies and I began creating a mosaic on the table top. It takes a long time to cover 12" x 18" surface with bits of glass and tile, but it's so worth it. Inch by inch, I can see a beautiful treasure emerging.

This is the perfect time to work on it, before another inquisitive toddler joins our family. It's also been a powerful symbol of adoption for me as we wait.

Like the nightstand, our new daughter has been left alone. Through tragedy, poverty, or situations I can only guess about, she has no family to care for her. Despite her circumstances, though, she is not forgotten. She is valued and remembered by the One who created her, and she is longed for by everyone in our family. Inch by inch, as slowly as the glass and tiles cover my table top, we are getting closer to our treasure -- and she is so worth the wait. If only the journey to her was as easy as driving by and scooping her up . . .

And then she will be alone no more! We will lavish our love and attention on her, and after time allows her to trust us, the treasure of her personality will emerge, inch by inch. And that will be more beautiful than anything I can create with my two hands.

Fun photos

Here are a few photos from Diwali and Halloween!

Anya Rashi and I wore our favorite Indian outfits for our Diwali dinner. Unfortunately, the boys have long outgrown theirs. (Must be time for another trip to India to get some new ones . . .) Anya Rashi's outfit comes courtesy of our friend Priya, who visited her family over the summer and was kind enough to bring back a new outfit for our growing girl.

The strange creatures you see are Snow White (who must hold up her skirt in every photo, like the real princess she is), a Mad Scientist (wearing an old doctor's coat from Aunt Alicia), and of course, Darth Vader. Last year's trick-or-treat costumes were all homemade, but I ran out of steam this year! This will be a short post, because I need to go raid some candy buckets . . .

In honor of Diwali: book & recipe

Just in time for the first day of Diwali, I thought I'd post a book review and a recipe.

The book is Miss New India, by Bharati Mukherjee. The author is Bengali, which I appreciate since Anya Rashi was born in Kolkata and shares that heritage. It's been fun to learn a few Bengali words, especially family words (baba is father, didi is big sister, etc.) through her writing. Many of her novels deal with the experiences of Indians who have emigrated to America -- and are also thoughtful explorations of family ties, culture, and identity.

Miss New India, however, takes place within India. At first glance, it is a classic storyline about a young woman moving from a small town to the big city. It is deeper and richer than that simple description, however. The main character, Anjali, is also leaving behind a traditional life and exchanging it for a more modern (and much more ambiguous) identity. The city of Bangalore, where she ends up, is almost a character in itself -- dynamic, pulsing with technology, and fueled by the energy of young people pouring in every day to work in call centers and other new industries. But she also encounters the dark side of life in a large city, and finds that things and people are not always what they seem.

Prospective readers should know that Mukherjee is an author who allows bad things to happen to her characters -- and this book is definitely reading for adults. But it is a very rewarding glimpse into Indian culture which is changing and growing by the second. Ultimately, the book is about rebirth: the rebirth of Anjali, of her hometown and personal history, and of India.

Now for the recipe! I've posted more traditional recipes in the past, but this time I wanted to feature a chicken recipe that's Indian-inspired, rather than strictly authentic. Many of us have family members who can't eat spicy food, or are afraid to try new kinds of cuisine. This easy dish is very friendly to the uninitiated, and gives them the flavor of curry without the heat.

Easy Mild Curried Chicken

(and thanks for the recipe, Michelle M.!)

12 chicken drumsticks, skinned OR 6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

(salted and peppered to your taste)

Sauce:

1/3 cup honey

1/3 cup lemon juice

2 Tbsp. dijon or brown spicy mustard

1 Tbsp. curry powder

Spray a 9" x 13" baking dish with non-stick cooking spray. In a small bowl, whisk together sauce ingredients. Place chicken pieces in baking dish and spoon sauce over chicken. Bake at 375 degrees for 1 hour, turning chicken pieces over halfway through baking time.

Happy Diwali -- enjoy!