18 months

This is the earliest photo we have of Anya Rashi . . . perhaps our new daughter is being born this month.

So . . . I haven't posted anything lately for two reasons. First, the pace of life has been a wee bit hectic. Peter and the boys performed six shows with the Northeast Wisconsin Passion Play, and I helped chaperone the children's choir backstage. Some dear friends welcomed their third son into the world, and I helped organize a few weeks of dinners for them. We had spring concerts, a two-day trip to Chicago and Milwaukee, along with piano lessons, Scout meetings, and other normal life stuff. I help run an outreach program for at-risk young women, and there were 48 Easter gifts to prepare for them, and teams to schedule for gift delivery. And Anya Rashi started swimming lessons, just for good measure.

But the other reason I haven't written is that I've been very aware of some adoption-related milestones. Peter and I drove to Milwaukee to be re-fingerprinted for the adoption, which means that 15 months have passed since we first filed for our daughter's I800 immigration approval. This month is also the month we thought we might be traveling, if our adoption timeline had followed the same path as Anya Rashi's.

Instead, Easter Sunday will mark 18 months on the waiting list for us. We started out in October of 2009 at #11, and in just a few months, moved up to #7. Then after a few more months, we were #3, and there we have stayed. We never dreamed we would be waiting this long. There have been no referrals since June of 2010, I think -- and before I feel too sorry for myself, I remind myself that Sarah's and Karen's families have been waiting ahead of us even longer.

I am glad that most of our spring busyness is over, so I can concentrate on Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and glorious Easter Sunday. The timing is perfect, reminding me of Jesus' friends, disciples, and mother, who thought the story was over when He was crucified. Their wait was three agonizing, grief-stricken days -- they did not know that the story would end with a miraculous resurrection.

I know the end of that story, just as I know the end of our adoption story: new life. We will eventually see that first picture of our new daughter, and eventually fly halfway across the world to gaze upon her in person and welcome her into our family. If I ever doubt that she's real, I only have to look at our evidence -- the bubbly, inquisitive, funny, creative big sister who traveled the same road to us three years ago.

An amazing adoption story

Outside the baby home where Anya Rashi was cared for -- and where Varsha is right now.

I just wanted to share a link to another adoptive mom's story. Amanda is someone I've "known" for a few years through the blog world. She has two children from the same orphanage where Anya Rashi lived -- and she is an amazing advocate for them. They've been through surgeries, appointments, walkers, physical therapy, and more as she helps Ananya and Prasun be all they can be. She also homeschools their oldest son. Are you tired yet just hearing about her stamina? I deeply admire her tenacity and perseverance.

I have a special fondness for their son Prasun. When we traveled to meet Anya Rashi, I got to meet him and take pictures to give to Amanda. That child has a 1,000 watt smile, and he's almost always smiling!

They recently accepted another referral -- and the story of Varsha coming into their family has the fingerprints of God all over it. You can read about it here: http://www.alwaystryingagain.blogspot.com/

Because this is their third adoption in five years, they are financially tapped out. If you could contribute even $5, it would help them reach their goal of getting sweet Varsha home. Thanks!

Warm thoughts

We've spent the last week thinking warm thoughts, brought on by the return of a few days when the thermometer reached 50 degrees! One local weather broadcast said that it had been 114 days since the last time we experienced a 50 degree day, so it was a welcome feeling.

In another burst of spring fever, Peter decided it was time to put together the grill that arrived as a Christmas present. While the guys built it, Anya Rashi did what every self-respecting preschooler should do: she played in the box the entire time.

Our weekend plans fit nicely with the theme -- my sister Alicia visited, and instead of staying with us, she decided to book a room at a hotel with a small waterpark. We didn't tell the kids until Saturday morning, and Anya Rashi packed her own suitcase within 15 minutes of the good news! After removing the two skirts, dominoes, Christmas outfit, Ziploc bag full of costume jewelry, and fluffy princess slippers, there was room for essentials such as pajamas and swim suit. What she lacked in packing know-how she certainly made up for with enthusiasm!

We swam in the afternoon, the evening, and again in the morning before checking out. The kids had a ball!

Sunday afternoon was spent with my mom's entire side of the family -- minus the children. My mom's family has a winter get-together each year so the grown-ups can have a chance to catch up with each other's lives. We have a pot luck lunch, then talk and play card games, etc., then finish up with a snack/early light dinner.

The jewelry photos were the result of a great surprise -- Kim, who is married to one of my cousins, makes stunning jewelry from recycled metal. She gave me one set of earrings and pendant, and I purchased another set (only $8.00!!!) for a friend's birthday. Kim said that she likes to keep her prices low so that everyone can afford them, and her costs are kept low because much of her materials are recycled metal. I love it when you discover new facets to someone you've known for a few years!

So . . . the grill is currently living in our garage. Because we're supposed to have 2-3 inches of snow today, and maybe some freezing rain. The warm thoughts are over, for today at least!

A book recommendation

As a Caucasian mom who lives in the US, I know that I can never offer the same cultural experience that Anya Rashi would've had if she spent her childhood in India, with Indian parents. I have a great feeling of responsibility about making sure she grows up with knowledge about and appreciation for her dynamic birth country.

I enjoy incorporating bits of India in our daily lives. At this stage of parenting (and because I love to read), children's picture books provide a good window into India for all of our kids. I love it when a trip to the library yields a new find, as it did last week. We are enjoying The Sanyasin's First Day by Ned Shank, illustrated by Catherine Stock.

The book weaves together the lives of very different people on their first days in their new jobs: a sanyasin (a holy man), a police officer, a plumber, and a farmer. There is also a compassionate little boy who plays a part in the story.

The best part of the book for me, though, was the illustrator's attention to detail. The market scenes are colorful and lush, and there is a statue of Ghandi in the center of town. But the street scenes will be especially nostalgic for anyone who has spent time in India. The roads are crowded with ox carts, autorickshaws, bicycles, and people on foot. The illustrator even included details such as the Tata brand name, and the ever-present instruction to "sound horn" on truck tailgates. That really brought a smile to my face!

So we give this book two thumbs up, for lack of a better system, and will likely be purchasing a copy online for our own library. (I googled it already, and it's available through several sources.) I hope you enjoy it too!

Taking care of business

After bathtime

We've been taking care of business on a few different fronts. In adoption matters, we've reached that dreaded point where paperwork is expiring and needs to be renewed. We've been compiling all the references, doctor reports, tax records, and other items to update our home study and file for an extension with USCIS.

We hosted a new social worker for our home visit, and had a little fun telling her about our first visit ever. One of our kids (who asked to remain nameless) surprised us all by returning to the living room to say goodbye to our social worker . . . wearing only a shirt. No pants. No underwear either.

What should nervous parents do in that situation? Well, I don't know what you "should" do, but we couldn't help it -- we just burst out laughing. I think she will always remember that visit . . . and she even approved us, despite the surprise ending! Our visit this go-round was a little less eventful, much to our social worker's disappointment.

I realized I haven't given any updates about our very reluctant pooper. I'm happy to report that Anya Rashi is also "taking care of business"! Late last year, many of you kind mama readers left me advice (or just commiserated with me!) about getting a stubborn girl to use the bathroom for #2.

For whatever reason (perhaps due to discovering how much she loves candy canes after St. Nicholas left some in her stocking Dec. 6?), she has decided to be a big girl in every way. In addition to the candy canes, a bribe from Grandma may also have helped -- we posted a chart on the fridge, and when she had an X in every box for a successful trip to the bathroom, she got to go on a special outing with Grandma.

Who knows, though? Many moms I know have kids who just decided one day to do it on their own . . . but for us, finding the right incentives seems to have helped the most. Thanks again for all your kind words after my first post!

A Valentine adoption anniversary

A bowl of flowers outside a museum we visited in Delhi.


Yesterday was full of reasons to remember it was Valentine's Day . . . Anya Rashi went to a little party at our YMCA and was thrilled to make a craft and bring home a goodie bag. Later in the day, we helped out with the party in Aaron's classroom. After school, we delivered decorated cut-out cookies for the residents of a homeless shelter near our house.

For our family, Valentine's Day is also an anniversary of sorts. Two years ago, Peter gave me a gift that I will remember forever. Two months earlier, I had contacted Dillon International to ask when their India program would be opening up again . . . and Peter and I started talking about a second adoption. I knew I was ready (just one short year after our first daughter came home with us!), but Peter needed more time for the idea to grow in his heart again. So I waited, quietly, trying not to get in the way as he considered and prayed about welcoming another daughter into our family.

When I walked into our bedroom that night, I found a gift on my pillow -- it was a new accordian file like the one we used to hold Anya Rashi's paperwork. He was ready to become the father to another daughter from India! Tears ran down my face as I read his letter that Valentine's Day, which was truly about love -- the kind of love that puts another before oneself, and sacrifices "wants" to be the answer to a child's need. I am so grateful to have a husband who doesn't prize his own convenience, and isn't overly attached to financial matters . . . because adopting doesn't mesh well with either of those things. :o)

I will always remember that Valentine's Day above all others, and I can't wait to share this story with our daughter someday. I hope she always knows that even though she will be our fourth child, she still has her own unique story. And that love doesn't shrink or get divided into smaller pieces as a family grows . . . it expands to include more children, and it expands our hearts at the same time.

The inevitable Superb*wl post

Here are most of the kids, followed by all the guys, followed by a couple cheesy pictures.

Because we live in Wisconsin, I am contractually obligated to write a post about the Superbowl. Or they will escort me to the state line and drop me off in Minnesota. Not really -- most people in Wisconsin are too nice to do anything mafia-esque, even where the Packers are concerned.

We live a mere 30 minutes' drive from Lambeau field, and our group of friends from Bible study are all Packer fans (even the ones who weren't born in Wisconsin!). We decided to get together to watch the game. Here's the math: 12 adults, one high school freshman, and 18 kids between the ages of 4 and 12. It was really loud, and really fun!

The kids spent most of the time either eating snacks or playing ping pong in the basement, while some of the older boys watched the game. All the kids were laughing at the men, who were hollering and high-fiving each other when the Packers scored. One of the kids said, "I've never seen grown-ups jumping around and yelling so loud before!"

We had a great time, and let the kids stay up late to see the end of the game, as I'm sure plenty of other kids across the state did. Our apologies to all their teachers on Monday morning!